Tonight I had a dream:
I was fellating a chili pepper
like it was chew.
And I thought to myself,
"There's no contest here;
No greater good.
I could spit it out without finishing,
And noone would ever be the wiser."
I had that power.
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...down the pancake...
WELCOME TO THE THING!
audio files require headphones... they also require you click on "free mp3" as of recently. start from the bottom. stay sane. click on everything. it's better that way. the bigger, the funnier. horray for brainwaves!!!!
Top ten reasons for visiting this blog:
- #10. Clowns dress like wise men and pile into tiny car
- #9. If you catch an exploding manhole cover, you can keep it.
- #8. Grandma's Old-Fashioned Smallpox-Infested Army Blankets
- #7. Manila Envelopes Filled with Alf-droppings.
- #6. Padded-Suit-Lumber-Swatting
- #5. Upcoming Unexpected Bob Hope walk-on
- #4. I'm Combining The Large & Small Intestine into One More Manageable Medium Intestine
- #3. I've been hypnotized by evil dogs.
- #2. Noisy music for the unemployed foreigners next door
- #1. Watch the ghost of Elvis cheer on our karate team!
Followers
Abblo reasons four shlarm?
Does this dress make me look fat?
What's the difference between a duck?
Lebals
$5.00 entry fee to all contestants outside of Uruguay
A lasting poem has a beautiful ebb throughout
a little heavy for the holidays don't you think?
ah depth
Alien ambulances are known to encourage bird maams to smoosh babies while evil sperm watch slaves and Charlie Chaplin hammers bells
and now reverend jahmba will read from his book of intangible verses please turn to page VLYTTERK ZOOG
and sometimes y
and that's where the cheetahs got their stripes
and the cookie once again claims another skeptical victim
apologies to silvertone records. your complaints can be forwarded to the following address
are you home?
Aw does this mean no more cynicism?
back in my day we used to call that spring cleaning
but they're only evil when on the sauce
Can you really blame him?
cavemen brought that one out
crappy deeyem I forgot the lebal
darth ta mook-laven forgs
dlacks voij tooch to you too
do pirates eat pie?
do the constantine of hippo shaykh shaykh
does a bear dring juice?
dogs have teeth?
don't worry they're not real
dream on buttercup
dude I think your telephone's broken again
eat your heart out Scorcese
enjoy the ear war
ever noticed brits always wish they were more evil?
fidostein had it coming the little whore
finally some poetry for a change
frost would be so proud
getting crazy with the cheez whiz
glorious sleep
grainy gray grimmen gry Grob Grylan
he knows it's the season
holes make great hats
hunters are reckless
i always preferred bach
i feel like the poem took a personal detour somewhere along the way n'est-ce pas?
i give up
i knew a cory who gave me hockey cards and a richard who drank my diesel
i prefer my corpses to be less than attractive
i see that rehab has really changed your outlook on life
I see you've decided to write drunk and edit sober while ignoring the latter
I thought I had a wall too
isn't this how all family feuds start
issa new dawn issa new day
issa new low
issa piece of art history
it lacks void tooths
it's about time we had some killer teddies and spider cars up in here
it's about time you wrote a poem about soldiers
it's always nice to meet a hooker with a heart of gold
it's the most sincerest form of flatterins ya know
just when you thought erasers were safe again
keep telling yourself that
kids with their wacky stick men these days
Kill your parents they taste of lemon
La Costco Bravo
lamb wrong fudge sticker pole pot rattle
leave my kneecaps out of it capn keystone
me too
methinks someone should stay away from the colonies
mmmm fish
mmmm gum
mmmm sprouts
more like cornio
my attic last time i checked
my dog has fleas
no glovey all you need is lovey
nothing runs like a fear
now life makes sense... let's kill some hookers
NOW YOU NOSE
oh good a new word to memorize for my upcoming scrabble tournament
okay i won't
One day all will bow to the lebal mestar WAHAHAHAHA
only if they're serving breakfast
ooh pink gum. really original
pending is like abstinence such optimistic words
personally i'm quite old school. erm... wiggity wack?
plafter made it to 100 posts? lebal mestar just lost some money
Que?
quick hide the snoisrevni
rabbitholesareoverratedtoo
racking the blaps
radio and rodeo... coincidence?
reminds me of my childhood
resolution is pollution
ROTGDMFFLMGDMFAO
scraping my guts off of the ceiling i've got this sunny bunny feeling
sdrawkcab gniggolb
serious writer's block cop out dude
seriously what's up with the pancakes?
siparashun iz lebalinated
so it goes on and on until you stop reading
so now you hate us as much as Lou Reed?
someone should have thought of this years ago
somewhere there's a palindrome just waiting to be discovered
sorry Mario but Cinderella's in the other castle
Sozey Wheel
stop complaining and get a new job
take that best friends
that must be some good bbq
That was like playing 165 minutes of heaven in the closet with Gandhi
that's where i met my first siamese twin brother
the bantus cheat at badminton
the camera adds 200 pounds apparently
the cartographer eats cheerios while watching win ben stein's money
the green food colouring is responsible
the puddle was there before i got here
there's a speed limit in this town
time for bird
Trapped in the cardinal's sense of lore I with mine own hourly woven darkness did smile decadence on the unforseen encumberances which were only reambled once the frailties sharpened their derivative
tsop rebmun ytfif sah a neddih knil ay wonk retsim nosnikliw
twenty dollars for what i'll get for my birthday from grandma?
um... lebals have no words for this
was copper on precious coins?
well NOW i have udder clarity
what a borins waste of trime
What? Clove-flirts need love too... but they gotta pay.
what's so bad about inheriting wind?
whatever happened to smelling salts?
while you're at it can you measure my girth? It's been a while
who knew Milton could be so brainy?
why don't you cummings some off rip more e e
why time for when evil who that shows how flying where it powers what we strangle
why you no writing?
wow you totally ripped off the plot from my latest screenplay
yay estonia
you ask for it you got it
you had me at ribs
you'd think they'd be able to find common ground by now
you'll never see me get doogle dimed twice
your recess has only begun
zoom photo and then zoom again
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